Need a Laugh?

Ok so I was going through my email Inbox and came across this HILARIOUS story my sis-in-law gave me about waxing! Seriously, get ready to laugh!

The Waxing Story
by an unknown blogger (true story)

My night began as any other normal weeknight.
Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet'.

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or whatever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('cold wax,' yeah....right!)

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.

I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek. (It was a long strip. )

I inhale deeply and brace myself...RRRRRRRIIIPP!!!!!
I'm blind!!!! Blinded from my pain!!!.............OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I noticed that I've only managed to pull of half the strip. CRAP!
Another deep breath and RIPP!

Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious....must stay conscious.
Do I hear crashing drums???? Breathe, breathe.................OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy. A wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.

I hold up the strip!
There is no hair on it!!!!!
Where is the hair!?!!?!?!?!?!?
WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip....it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something.

So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut!
My butt is sealed shut.
Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!'
What can I do to melt wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!

I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???
*WRONG!!!!*

I get in the tub-the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub....in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!
God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have phone put in the bathroom!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'are we talkin cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'
She's laughing out loud by now.....I can hear her. I give her the run down and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! RIGHT!!!!!

I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor.
Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub, in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.
What do I really have to lose at this point?
I rub some on and OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's soooooo painful but I really don't care.
IT WORKS!!!!
it works!

I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE......ALL OF IT!!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my whole leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color..........

The Outfit

I'm sorry I didn't write an explanation for these pictures in the first place...I just assumed everyone would keep looking at my blog and read the story in the next posting...

Last year for Christmas Steph, Andrew, Trent and Em decided to pull a gag gift on Cade and got him this studly looking outfit! I have to say Cade is SOOOOOOO cute! I can't believe how little he looks in this picture! Enough reminissing Tiff. Anyway, we decided to keep it in the family and start a little tradition. It is now the pass-along outfit, and whoever has a child close to 6 months around Christmas time gets this coveted outfit. It was hilarious watching Hayden (Steph and Andrew) open it up this year. Hmmm....I wonder who will be the lucky recipient next year?

I go back to December.....

It's only a month late, but here's our Christmas! Our festivities begin on Christmas Eve, my family always has a party at my moms. It's been a tradition ever since I can remember. We woke up and decided we wanted to start a tradition of our own, so we went to MICKS for breakfast. I guess I should mention we were hungry and didn't want to cook! :) It was great and I'm thinking it's going to be an easy tradition to keep up on!
If something ever happened to Micks, it would be a sad day at the Sargent house! We visit Micks at LEAST once a week. It's one of those old town hole in the wall places that is OH SO GOOD! If you haven't been, we recommend it.

Breakfast was just too good! Put them both down!

I just put up a few decorations this year knowing that we were going to be at our parents houses for all the festivities and we were going to start demolition on our kitchen. So here is my attempt to bring Christmas into our house!

Mrs. Claus in baby LaJae disguise!

Cade loves all of his cousins. Hannah is a great babysitter and Cade loves her so much.

My dad ready the Christmas story.

Ok, so if you know Abbey, my darling and hilarious niece, you'll will appreciate the humor of this picture. My other niece Brianna was suppose to be Mary, but she wasn't liking that idea (mind you this whole time my dad is reading the Christmas story from the Bible) so Abbey decided to fill in and she did NOT take her eyes off the camera. I have about 5 pictures of the Nativity and Abbey is the same in all of them! She's very photogenic!

I love Cade's PJ's and LaJaes Mrs. Claus dress, this was the best picture I got because Cade wouldn't hold still for very long!

Baby LaJae! I still can't get over her eyes! They are blue and SO beautiful!

My parents gave Cade his first pair of snow boots, and let me tell you....he LOVES his boots! He wants to wear them all the time!

All tuckered out from all the excitement.

We headed to the Sargents because we were going to be there in the morning anyway so we just spent the night and when we arrived we found them playing this interesting game. You make a tower of flour and place a coin on the top. Grab yourself a knife and start shaving. The person who knocks over the tower has to sift through the flour with their NOSE and find the coin! One thing I love about the Sargents, you will always have something to do at their house! If we aren't playing a "real" boardgame (or game) we usually end up making one up!

Bryan was hilarious playing this game because he thought he had the best strategy and everytime someone would only take a little chunk he'd get so mad and tell us "the game is going to last forever" "who takes little chunks" "cmon guys" I'm sure there were more because he was seriously on a roll that night. Stephs just making sure he's abiding by the rules here.

Em was a good sport, you see she's not much for games but she joined in and well, she lost so she had to find the dime in the flour with her nose! Rules are rules....and sometimes we make them up as we go, but still!

When we woke up we decided to go get cousin Hayden before we went out to see all the presents. So we went down the hallway and knocked on his door (knowing he'd be awake because these two decided in heaven that they'd be on the exact same sleeping schedule!) and it was SO cute, the door cracked and Haydens little head peeked around the corner!

At first Cade wasn't too sure what to think, but it didn't take him long to warm up.

Bry ended up being the present-hander-outer (I'm pretty sure that's just not a word) and he borrowed my WAY CUTE hat that my sis-in-law Em made for me.

I'm sad this picture is so dark, but you can see how into opening presents Cade got. He really liked it at first, but after a few he just wanted to play with what he got. Cade did end up with a pretty good stash! Thanks to Grandmas, Grandpas, Cousins, and pretty cool parents! :)

Oh my heavens....his face is just priceless! I mean of course it's tractors...who wouldn't react like this?

Cade had Haydens name for Christmas and I think Hayden is excited about getting a present! I think it's fun to draw names, especially for the little ones because it teaches them to give....tis the season...right?!

Oh yes! This outfit is a beauty! Last year Steph, Andrew, Trent and Em decided to pull a gag gift on Cade and gave him this outfit. It was hilarious and now a tradition! It will get passed down for generations...and I sound like a grandma....but I must say Hayden looks pretty cute in it!

A couple days after Christmas Bryans family (his moms side) rents a huge cabin up in Island Park and we usually go up for a few days. It was tricky because Cade isn't really use to sleeping in different places so the first night was just dandy trying to get him to sleep. He really enjoyed having so much attention and other little kids to play with. This is him in the truck on the way, he's watching Spirit (its a horse movie for those who don't know) and this was his face pretty much the whole time! It was hilarious!

This is the day after Christmas, we just chilled at the Sargents most the day. That's one favorite thing about the holidays, just taking it easy and being with family!

I didn't get any pictures of our Annual New Year's Party at Grandma Sargents but, as usual, it was a good time had by all. In a nutshell, we have an all-nighter with Bryan's dad's side and it's SO much fun. Every year there's a contest to see who can stay up the longest. I've made it to 5:00 (AM) one year, Grandma is almost always in the runnings, but usually the younger kids are the night owls!

All in all it was a great Holiday Season and we have so much to be thankful for!

Kind of in a RUTT.....

Lately (the last few months) I just can't seem to get myself going...and it's driving me CRAZY! I know I can do SO much more in the day and my attitude has just been AWFUL (you can ask Bry). And then I get even more mad at myself because I'm usually not that kind of person! UGH! ENTER Christmas present from one of my clients. Lori gave me this quote from President Hinckley and it's all printed out and framed just beautifully, and the quote is just AWESOME! Hope it helps anyone else who has the same problem I'm currently working on :)

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey...delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas, and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have a ride."

-President Gordon B. Hinckley